I’m from Bulawayo, Mthwakazi, a nation in the Southwest of Zimbabwe. We were a separate country before Zimbabwe got into an alliance with the British who brought anti-gay laws there in 1890 and later bundled Mthwakazi into Zimbabwe. It is also in Zimbabwe where I was fired multiple times because of my sexuality.
From the age of seven I knew that I’d become a refugee and flee this country because of the homophobia. Most gay people have struggled with questions like “What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I like this?”. Luckily, I didn’t have this. I was always the boy who's like a girl and nobody really cared.
In my Zulu African culture people like me are called ukuzimaka, roughly meaning metrosexual, a man who is flamboyant. It’s never considered as gay because we never had Zulu words for LGBTQ or cis straight people, besides old, foreign and derogatory terms for intersex people for example.
Throughout my life I’ve dated predominantly rural men because they have less issues with their sexuality. Since the process of colonization was mostly centered around cities, rural men deal less with internalized colonial laws or the fiction of imported religions.
Growing up, coming from the “hood” I was viewed as quite a rebel. I used to do many human rights projects and my gender presentation has always been quite apparent. The harassment I received and amounts of jobs I lost because of my sexuality and all this, came to a point where I just had to leave. Society at my age also expected me to “grow out” of my “metrosexuality”, marry a woman and have children.
There are little differences between the Netherlands and Zimbabwean cities as Zimbabwe is a highly colonized country. Staying in AZC’s (refugee campuses), however, shouldn’t be considered as living in the Netherlands because 99% of the residents in AZC’s are homophobic with impunity.
The refugee system puts you in isolated areas. Straight refugees can have families, whereas queer refugees can’t. It falls upon a queer refugee to find their own tribe. The mental strain in AZC’s will otherwise absolutely kill you. It's scientifically proven that within a year in an AZC you’ll lose your mind. Systems don’t listen to black peoples’ complaints; they’ll call you a cry-baby instead. Even in cases of abuse, you need a white Dutch person to talk on your behalf to get anything solved at all.
Queer African refugees often think they've found their tribe if they meet other African people in refugee queer spaces. Homophobes go there to pretend and get a permit. You then face a new wave of international stigma and harassment as the talk about you as “a real gay” spreads. This will destroy you if you aren’t proud of yourself. It’s vicious and happens in all Western countries. We’re advocating for separate AZC’s for queer refugees on an EU level. I always tell other queer people public relations rule number one: “don’t hide it, get ahead of the story.”
Being a journalist and activist, I easily found my way here around the networks. I met Simion from Respect2Love, who introduced us to facilitators like Naomie Pieter and Haroon Ali. It was good to hear their stories as minority people. I also tell other queer refugees to socialize with organizations outside of the refugee system. I started “Rainbow Anonymous” to link these two worlds.
The color yellow of my shirt represents belonging. The pink background represents softness and warmth, just like my two-spiritedness. Very few gay men actually are pink, most of them are just average Joe’s. Two-spiritedness like in Native American culture has been part of the human condition since day one. People just act like they don’t know. The X cut out is symbolic for all the fallen queer people who never got to speak in their lifetime. The stepping out in grey, means standing in the concrete jungle. My hands together represents power, ubuntu, the universality of people.