I grew up in a religious community where homosexuality is a very big sin. Being gay is an abomination to your family, community, and church. It can lead to your death.
When I got to know about my desires, it was of course impossible to talk to anyone, so I stayed silent and suffered for years. When I had my first lesbian relationship, I felt so bad about the church’s teachings, to the point that I was mentality and emotionally down. I was fighting my own feelings, scared to lose my life.
I decided to hide myself in a marriage, so no one could be suspicious. I also thought this would be the best way to overcome being gay. But after seven years of dying in marriage, a new love came into my life. Because of the fear to be discriminated and get sentenced to life in prison, I ended up in the Netherlands.
Being here makes me feel safe, but the IND (immigration office) rejected me because they did not believe I am a lesbian. They told me I failed to explain and elaborate about my homosexual feelings. But I was afraid to speak out about this, because in my mind it still was the worst sin.
I think love is a mystery and we humans don't choose who we fall in love with. Believe in love, in the end love wins. I think churches should teach about love and not execrate homosexuals. Also, African governments should be forced to protect us in our home countries. Being a refugee because of my sexual orientation is not a good experience.
The people portrayed as invisible in the IN/VISIBLE photo-exhibit are regular participants of Wereldcafé. Wereldcafé is a monthly activity organized by COC Amsterdam en omstreken, where bicultural LGBTIQ+ persons can meet in a closed setting to find a social network and discuss topics relevant to their personal empowerment. If you come from a bicultural background and are LGBTIQ+ or questioning, and want to be in contact with likeminded people, you can contact us at: wereldcafe@cocamsterdam.nl. We look forward to meeting you.