When I was fifteen years old, some people in my village caught me and my boyfriend at the time while we were secretly kissing in the bushes, and they beat us up very badly. They cast me out of the village, and I had to run away to the capital of my country. There I was in the closet again because I was scared for people to find out about me.
People in my country, especially the religious people, are against the LGBTQI+ people. It’s because of this situation that it was not easy for me to live in my country. The government wants that all LGBTQI+ people to die. For example, if you are transgender or homosexual, and you get HIV, they won’t give you any medication or any medical support. The people in my country do not see us as human beings, but as people who are possessed by the devil.
In African tradition, they believe in witchcraft and spirits. Even when my dad found out that I was gay came looking for me and took me to a witch doctor. They sat me down, took all my clothes, and then cut a goat's head above my head and let the blood of the goat cover my whole body. This, they believed, would help to get the devil out of me and make me a “normal” person again. But of course, to me, nothing changed because I am just born like this. So then, my father took me to a church and asked the priests there to pray for me in the hope that it would help to get maybe the devil out of me.
When I was around twenty-seven years old, my family started to put a lot of pressure on me to get married. Just outside the church, where my father took me daily for prayers, there was a kiosk. I always came inside that kiosk to buy snacks and make phone calls. Behind the counter, there was a young girl working. So, one day I asked her if I could pay her to act like she was a girlfriend. And so, she would come to my house to meet my parents. This was of course to show them that now the devil was out of me, and I was in a relationship. And for a while, it looked like the people around me believed it. But this was not a real relationship because I would pay her every month a lot of money so she would pretend to be my girlfriend.
Around that same time, I fell in love with a guy, and we started a secret relationship. But after a few months, my own family caught us inside my house. My boyfriend ran away, but my family caught me, beat me up and took me to the police to be arrested. I was in jail for three days and then a friend came, and we bribed the police with money so they would let me go.
When my family found out that I got out of jail, they were so mad and went to my house and destroyed everything that I had. They started to hunt me down. They even published my photo in the newspaper and went on the radio and TV station to ask if anyone saw me or knew where I was. They also told people to contact the police, to get me arrested again.
Luckily, I had a good friend of mine who took me in, and we made it to get me into safety. My friend got me a document for traveling so I could come to Europe, so that’s why I ended up here in the Netherlands. Now, I can finally be open. There are a lot of activities for LGBTQI+ people and I see that people are free here, not in the same situation as in my country. I hope that more people who are in my situation will find a better future as well.
The people portrayed as invisible in the IN/VISIBLE photo-exhibit are regular participants of Wereldcafé. Wereldcafé is a monthly activity organized by COC Amsterdam en omstreken, where bicultural LGBTIQ+ persons can meet in a closed setting to find a social network and discuss topics relevant to their personal empowerment. If you come from a bicultural background and are LGBTIQ+ or questioning, and want to be in contact with likeminded people, you can contact us at: wereldcafe@cocamsterdam.nl. We look forward to meeting you.